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The Haitian courts reminded us of our American (Christian) arrogance

February 20, 2010
By Secular Parent

The relief workers who were released earlier this week came home to a hero’s welcome.  And while it was nice to see family reunification and first words (and, as one relief worker put it: “a shower!”), the media seriously missed an opportunity to discuss the true reason of their imprisonment in Haiti.

We are familiar with the charges: Americans deemed kidnappers of children whose impoverished parents wanted a better life for their young ones.  Parents sign papers, no legal system is involved, and then workers are stopped crossing the border into the Dominican Republic (for a second time)–and subsequently jailed for nearly three weeks on charges of kidnapping.

But that’s not why the American relief workers were imprisoned.

The American volunteers were put in jail because of their overarching sense of superiority; Haitian courts wanted to remind the American volunteer workers that they did not have the right to do as they pleased because they came to help, and that help and hurt are balanced on a fine line in a crisis of such magnitude.

Christian relief workers were given the ok from God to do their work; and that ok created shudders on reality, namely the reality of due process.  It takes time to remove a child from a home for good or bad reasons.  The judicial system–and yes, other countries have them–must make sure that what happens is in the child’s best interest.  And let us not forget that there are those who would use such a crisis as an opportunity to plunder Haiti, to rob them of their most precious gifts: their children.

For the most part, I believe the workers who took the children did so with sincere thoughts and a sincere heart; they weren’t going to sell the children on the black market.  They wanted to be responsible for helping lives succeed in a time of tragedy–and they wanted to meet God’s mandate of converting them to Christ.

The volunteers went into Haiti with the idea that no matter what they did, they were right and good, because they were American–and, of course, because “they had God on their side.”  One relief worker proudly proclaimed that ” God was a mighty God!”  No doubt this mindset also gives way to the idea that one’s actions, if in the name of God, are completely justified.

This was not their fault.

Americans are bred to be self-centered, arrogant, and willfully-stubborn.  For example, I remember clearly when the towers fell on 9/11.  I also remember my blind arrogance.  “This is America.  They can’t do that to us!” I screamed at the television.  I went on for days contemplating how anyone could dare attack our country; no body messes with America.

It was then that I began to really analyze my country: both it’s inner workings and it’s relationship to the world.  Many Americans did.  From that was born a new mantra, one that focused on building bridges with the world instead of sitting on Mount Olympus giving orders.

When you think about it, It’s not surprising that 10 American relief workers, on a mission from God, would find it necessary to ’save’ Haitian children by bringing them to America (Via an orphanage in The Dominican Republic.  I have no doubt that some of those kids would have ended up here).  In America, they will surely have a better life, right?

Let us not consider that we are uprooting children–however young–from a culture and a society that has been home; we also shouldn’t consider the implications of trying to live in America with a foreign accent thanks to the hypersensitivity of the ‘war on terror’; and why consider that the customs, the food, the very aura of life in Haiti would matter to so small a child?

The Haitian courts were right to stop the American relief workers in their tracks; they were right to force them to consider that America isn’t ‘the best place in the world’ anymore.  Yes, I love my country, and I think it’s one of the best places that I could have been born.  But that doesn’t mean that every child will have a fighting chance here.

Children should not be uprooted–by volunteers, aid workers–or God for that matter– with the thought that tossing them into the home of a white family is going to make their life better.

Building up Haiti, creating strong infrastructure, strong homes,schools and agriculture keeps the family unit intact.  It prevents decent people (like the Haitian volunteers) from being accused of crimes, and it prevents religion from being forced on defenseless minds.

Going blue for change, Cartoon Muhammad (again), and the big D!!!

February 13, 2010
By Secular Parent
Going blue for change, Cartoon Muhammad (again), and the big D!!!

Going blue for the cause
(JERUSALEM) — Palestinian protesters have added a colorful twist to demonstrations against Israel’s separation barrier, painting themselves blue and posing as characters from the hit film “Avatar.”   The demonstrators also donned long hair and loincloths Friday for the weekly protest against the barrier near the village of Bilin.  (Read more) (also, you can find a more in-depth article here.)

I think it’s really sad that America view of Palestine is often one of Islamic fanaticism.  Our imbalanced view of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is, in many ways, a real contributor to fundamentalist Islamic fervor.
Norway posts images of the Prophet Muhammad

The cartoon wars have returned!  This time however, Muslims handled the situation with 21st-century rationality: they prayed and expressed feelings of dismay.  They did not ( like 2006, when a Danish paper posted image of the Prophet) go on a burning spree shouting death to the infidels.

Of course, Islam prohibits showing images of the Prophet Muhammad to ensure that idol worship of him does not occur—

(click here for the full article)
Darwin Day
Well, it’s already passed, but I just couldn’t leave it out.  Love him, or hate him, Charles Darwin forever changed the shape of human existence.

Born on February 12, this year marks the 200th anniversary of his birth.  Not only did Darwin’s explanations for the origins of life spurn endless religious debate, but it also fueled scientific advancement like never before.  (Visit the Guardian to view a wonderful audio-slide show of Darwin’s life.)

Does your five-year old know where sperm comes from, and what it does? They should!

February 10, 2010
By Secular Parent
Does your five-year old know where sperm comes from, and what it does?  They should!

I love the fervor that comes with talking about kids and sex.  I find completely backward and not in the best interest of young people.  American children today have inherited a hyper-sexed society, and sexually immature parents who are unequipped to give them the information they need to make sexually responsible decisions.

I should back up.

Over the last 15 years, many studies have confirmed the early sexualization of American children, particularly American girls. Now, exactly what did we think would happen when we began dressing children as young as 3 in two piece bathing suits?  I have seen girls as young as five realize the power of attraction their body has at a beach; it’s really sad.

Little girls are dressed up in club-hoppin wear, and we wonder why men snatch, rape, and then strangle our babies before they have their first kiss.  I don’t justify the murdering of children by blaming our practices.  I’m just saying making an 8-year old look like a little lady, and then trying to tell a man (or a 9 or 12-year old) not to become aroused is illogical.

But I diverge.

The issue here is when do we begin to speak with young people about the act of sex itself, about body parts, about the infections that can result, and the emotional scarring that sexual encounters often leave on our young people.

The results from studies conducted in the 1990’s and early 2000’s reminded us that many young girls, especially African American girls, have begun their periods by age 8.  Young girls typically exhibit pubertal signs (pubic and underarm hair, breast development and hip augmentation) by age 6 or 7.

The American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Adolescence published an article in 2006 where they stated:
Because development of secondary sex characteristics begins at ages as young as 8 years, primary care clinicians should include pubertal development in their anticipatory guidance to children and parents from this age on.
The fact of the matter is this: if we don’t begin to talk with young children–children who are 5, 6 and 7– about sex then we’ve missed the mark.  If SECONDARY sex characteristics start at 8, when does that first stage probably begin?  Many conservatives have tried to vilify Planned Parenthood of late for their recent attempts to acknowledge the changing face of sexuality in America.  They charge that The International Planned Parenthood, in it’s new report, Stand and Deliver, is trying to instill sexuality without consequences in children as young as ten.

The report by the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) urges countries to offer comprehensive sex education to children as young as 10.  My guess is that by saying 10, the IPPF has avoided a public response that would retard the discussion, but deep down, the IPPF knows that number should be lower.

If a young girl has a chance at beginning her period by age 8, logic dictates that you begin a conversation about what menstruation is at least 2 years earlier.  Why?  For one, 8 is an average number, it does not reflect outliers which can come early or later.  No reason to be the parent who assumes they can wait until 8, or 9 to talk about pads v. tampons, only to discover a frightened 7 year-old who’s trying to figure out why she’s bleeding in the bathroom one day.

Also, the conversation of sex begins when children are in socialized groups on playgrounds.  Kids play sex games–and usually the most ignorant of the bunch is unwittingly “used.”  I can’t tell you how many conversations about sex have begun from the miss-information of children on the playground.  Our kids deserve facts and that won’t happen if we pretend that sex talk doesn’t happen at ages as young as 5.

The conversations that we have about sex in our home are short, honest, and repetitive.  They include our values, our desires, and the honest statement that we cannot control their behavior now or as teens, yet we hope that they would abstain until they are mature enough to deal with the consequences of sex.  The physical AND the mental consequences.

We discuss AIDS, abortion, and sperm.  Our kids have had drawings of the inner-workings of a uterus, pictures of sperm fertilizing eggs.  They have gone through rather realistic conversations about genital warts, the various types of pads that exist, and the beauty and pleasure of sex.

But for all their sexual information, we do not have promiscuous neophytes; there are no little Lolita’s in training here.  Sexuality on TV is still taboo for them, they tend to call boys ugly and stupid when they really like them (just like an 8 year old should), and they still get weirded out by “sex talk.”

But we don’t stop talking.  We have a 5 minute rule: that’s about all a kid can take before you’ve lost them.  We constantly reinforce our family values on the subject, but we never lie.  We never hide facts–we never shun protection (condoms and birth control).  Our girls, for example, know that the reason they have an easy going life, the reason they EACH have their own room, an allowance, and a computer is because they don’t have an extra 3 kids; they know I take birth control.

They know that I don’t have children because I can’t afford anymore–but that I’m in a monogamous, adult relationship, where I’m free to relieve my urge for love-making.   They only conversation that hasn’t come up yet, surprisingly, is masturbation.  But I’m ready for that too–

American kids need honesty, and Planned Parenthood has known this all along.  “Stand and Deliver” gives cases of young people all over the world effected by lack of resources and information regarding sex and reproductive health; religion and cultural practices toward girls (which are extremely interwoven attitudes in any society) are the root causes of the problem here.

So yes, let the conservatives yell.  Let those who would rather use fear and faith to control sexual behavior holler.  But in your home, with your kids, be truthful.  Be honest.  The benefits of both will last a lot longer than many people would have you believe.

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